Free Friday
My High School Life is Terrible Yet Magical
Personal Diary Entry
High school life is never easy. In fact, I'm still going through it and it's tough as heck. It's a wonder I didn't give up in the middle, because the road to this point was pretty bumpy. I still go through with life because of what grownups tell me: it'll get better. Teenage life will not be the best part of your life, so don't think this is the end. Life is just starting.
I'd really like to believe that whatever they're telling me is true. If life gets any worse from here...I don't know what I'd do. Sometimes the thought excites me. The thought of only starting life now or having a whole new future ahead of me is ... wow. But that doesn't mean I can do nothing and dwadle around. I'll need to work hard to get to my goal. And if I want to grasp my dreams, I would have to go to college. Man, if life so far was this tough, how tough would college be? College. It was the thing I was preparing for for almost all my life. In two years, I would go there, but till then, I still need to battle my way through.
The thought of having to leave my family frightens and makes me feel adventurous at the same time. After all, I just spent 16 years living with my parents and sister. Would I be able to live by myself or with strangers? I was brought up in a safe cocoon. I was never exposed to real danger, unless you count being bullied for two and a half years danger. I've lived in dangerous countries, sure, but I was never actually in the middle of all the danger. I was simply watching from the side.
Who would I lean my head on in the outside world?
What would happen if I have no money?
That's why I decided to enjoy the last two years I have with my parents. But it's really difficult to actually enjoy these years. I constantly have to juggle classes and grades, plan to take the SAT, and generally prepare myself for college. It's a heck load of stress and it's terrible but I like it. I strive under pressure. Not too much pressure, but just enough pressure. The adrenaline I feel while I keep myself busy is better than feeling like a slug during vacations. I like living a productive life and I wish to continue that in college.
School is half the reason why I'm stressed. The other half is my personal life. I'm a huge introvert. I may have OCD (turning off lights even though they're turned off and keeping things in the center), I'm socially awkward (different from shy. I'm just really, really awkward), and I'm everything no one wants to be. But this is the frustrating part: I have a switch. I have two faces.
Let's go back to school, though. That's what my topic is about, anyways.
School. It's something I would never want to remember again. As Stephen King once said:
“I hated school. I don't trust anybody who looks back on the years from 14 to 18 with any enjoyment. If you liked being a teenager, there's something really wrong with you.”
I agree completely with this quote. I hate being a teenager. I have low self-esteem, I used to get picked on, and I'm extremely lonely often. I'm also scared of other teens. I sometimes don't understand how there can be such different people in the world. While some teens are all smiles and laughter, partying all the time, and easily chatting, there are other teens that are extremely quiet and prefer to stay home. There are just so many different people, and I guess school life would be different for them, too.
